The Key of Cancer

The Key of Cancer is a magical key that allows anyone who touches it to develop cancer that will not kill you (but still give you cancer's effects). It was forged somewhere in The Cave of Hobos and somehow fell into the hands of Hobo Cop the 2nd. Hobo Cop was told that the key had no effect on people anymore so he kept it simply as a souvenir. Years later, the key was given to George Lopez in exchange for The Key of Awesomeness. However, when he was given the key, George Lopez was infected with cancer. Hobo Cop presumed that he wasn't infected because he was so awesome and the George Lopez was infected due to him being less awesome. George Lopez didn't mind and named himself George Lopez With Cancer. George Lopez With Cancer still has The Key of Cancer and has recently got it cleaned so it shines bright. He also wears clothing that matches the key and refuses to go ANYWHERE without it.